I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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