Sry I called you an 8
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
