I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
