My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
