I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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