Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bono hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

Fav 12 1212 6683
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

Fav 36 1535 8857
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

Fav 5 2253 1059
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

Fav 8 2350 995
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

Fav 6 1652 894
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

So you met him?

(1-720): View more from Colorado

More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.

Fav 1 1720 890
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.

Fav 1 1168 770
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(580): View more from Oklahoma

Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes

Fav 0 849 514
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping

Fav 0 83 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT