This is not my ceiling
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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