the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Randomize
