I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
