Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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