So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
