why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
