capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
True strength comes from lack of pants
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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