The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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