wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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