did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
