Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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