Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
