I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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