theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
