She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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