No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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