if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
