yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
they need to just BURY HIM!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
