your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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