We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
