It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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