It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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