Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
