There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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