I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
