i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
