Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
