when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
