i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
