I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
