STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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