u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize