I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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