Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
