Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
