i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
