What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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