Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You took a bar mat shot.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
