it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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