I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
