doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
