I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
