I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i am craving dick and cupcakes
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
