My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
